Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Email from 7/31/5015

The idiocy continues...

I was going to start this week’s update with “The insanity continues”, but insanity does not necessarily indicate a lack of intelligence and using that cliché would have been unfair to the insane!  We received an email this week from Acopia, LLC with an attachment titled:  “Consumer Explanation Letter.”  The letter began:  “Dear Applicant, A copy of your credit report has been provided to Acopia, LLC ­ 1001 in association with your recent application.”  One of the “Explanations” that I have to provide is regarding some credit inquiries that have shown up on my credit report.  It appears that Acopia, LLC, the mortgage company processing our loan, has noticed that Acopia, LLC has checked our credit in the last 120 days (Please see bold, italic, underlined acknowledgement of that fact above).  Therefore Acopia, LLC would like me to provide a written explanation to Acopia, LLC on why Acopia, LLC might have checked my credit and I’m to further identify any “New Credit Opened” with Acopia, LLC.  How do you respond to that?  That mess I’m having with the Credit Union doesn’t really seem as crazy as it did last week.  Acopia, LLC staff are either so insecure that absolutely everything has to documented over and over; or, Acopia, LLC staff are so incompetent that they can’t open a file and compare two or more documents and come to the conclusion that they already have the answer to the question.  I’m going with the latter!  If that is not evidence enough I also have a request to:  “Furnish bank statement showing where funds were withdrawn from earnest money and due diligence checks- provide a transaction history printout from July 16 through the date the checks cleared- make sure the printout has the account number and the URL/website address printed.”  Acopia, LLC has all of my checking account statements, and they have the cancelled checks which have been cashed from the account number on the checks, which matches the account number on the bank statements.  I think they must have overheard me using one of Uncle John’s one-liners, “The money is good, I just printed it up in my basement yesterday!”  Next I’ll be providing documentation verifying that I don’t have a basement (yet) and that I don’t own a printing press with supporting bank statements that show I’ve never withdrawn an amount necessary to buy a printing press or made a payment to a printing press, paper and/or ink companies!

On the positive side, the email also included:  “Hi Mr. & Mrs. Brooks, Your loan has been Conditionally Approved by Underwriting. Congratulations!”  We may get the better of this bureaucratic beast yet.  My mortgage guy assures me that this will all work itself out, if I can just get that credit union statement!

I was pleasantly surprised by the response from my letter to the Credit Union’s Member Services staff.  During my drive back from Virginia I received a call from a gentleman who, appreciating the urgency of my request for the account ending statement, called to make sure he was sending exactly what we needed.  I haven’t made it out to our post office box in the last few days.  Who knows, I may have that account ending statement waiting for me.

As I indicated in last week’s email, we made a side trip to Virginia.  It was good to see my side of the family again.  Mom says “Hi” to everyone.  We literally decided a couple of days before that we were going and hit the road on Friday morning.  For a little less than 3 tanks of gas in my truck the three of us made the round trip over a long weekend.  There was no exorbitant airline fees or increase costs because we didn’t decide 30 days in advance, no long waits at security, and I didn’t have to disrobe even once during the round trip.  I will confess, it’s going to take a number of trips to Ohio and Virginia before this move pays for itself but I still think it was worth it.

We had our home inspection Tuesday.  The home inspector we hired was a very pleasant and knowledgeable ex-contractor who came highly recommended.  Now you are wondering why me of all people with my background experience would hire a home inspector.  I must confess that I’ve been guilty more than once of putting on my rose colored glasses when it comes to major purchases.  Once you decide you want something it becomes very easy to start overlooking the minor things.  You know, like the house is sliding down the hill (which actually happened earlier in our home search) or the driveway is too steep to get up in the summer time much less when there is ice on the road, which is a common problem when you choose to live on the side of a mountain.  And when you are presenting the 27 item punch list to the seller it’s much easier to point at the report and say, “it’s him, not me!”  And my realtor is still working double time to earn his fee.  A couple of items on the list, while they might be code violations, weren’t a major concern to me especially with my rose colored glasses snug to my face.  But Kevin calmly pointed out that if I ever went to sell the home, if I didn’t get this seller to fix the items, it could very well be me making the alterations necessary to get this house into compliance.  Most of the items on the list I could easily do myself, but why would I if I can get the seller to do them?  I’m always saying, “If you don’t ask, you know the answer is no!”  So we’ve sent our 27 item punch list on to the seller.  He’s an insulation contractor who has many contractor friends/contacts.  I’m thinking a few phone calls and a case of beer aught to do it.

Liam has been on a group chat with the other WCU incoming freshmen on the distance team.  The other incoming freshmen don’t have Liam’s resume but they’ve all been chatting about how much they are training over the summer.  I guess Liam doesn’t want to show up the first week and be the lame duck so he appears to be taking his training a little more seriously.  He’s running twice a day now most days.  We still can’t get him off his computer in between his runs.  In all fairness, we did drag him away from the only home and friends Liam new.  Even though Liam is chatting with his teammates they are not really close enough for him to get together to train or hang out.  We have figured out that Liam has to report on August 11th, which is only about 11 days away.

“Summer colds are the worst!”  At least my realtor, the grocery clerk, and anyone I’ve mentioned my cold to agree.  Or maybe that is just the polite thing to say when you notice someone has a cold in the summer.  I know I don’t ever remembering having a cold in the winter that I thought was any more pleasant.  Of course I did just spend the last 35 years in the semi-arid desert of Southern California.  Maybe they were all summer colds and I just don’t have the proper frame of reference.  Either way, if my report this week seems to be missing its usual rapier wit, between the cold and the cold medicine my head feels like it’s stuffed with mattress foam.

We hope everyone is doing well!

Until next time,

Rick, Maureen & Liam


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