I Wanted To Lose 10 Pounds This Month......I Only Have 15 Pounds To Go!

But that is the nature of vacations, isn't it?  Maureen and I just returned from a four week trip to Italy and Ireland.  I've always joked about getting three kinds of potatoes whenever you order a meal in Ireland, but it's not really a joke.  With any lunch or dinner order you could expect boiled and mashed potatoes and an order of chips (french fries).  Even the famous "Full Irish Breakfast" comes with hash browns and home fries.  In Italy it's PASTA with everything, and huge amounts of it.  I always thought that Europeans ate much lighter than Americans and that their portion sizes were more reasonable.  Well it appears that the American tourists have had a negative influence on the European food service industry.  And for someone (like me) trying to limit the amount of processed food that I consume you basically have to suspend your rules unless you really want to come off as the stodgy American that refuses to eat the local cuisine.  Therefore I was forced to suspend my dietary restrictions a bit in order to truly enjoy my vacation.  I stepped on the scale when I got home and it wasn't the complete disaster that I was certain it would be.  Maybe all those apple crumbles and hot brownies with ice cream I had along the way didn't wreck me beyond repair as I was afraid it might.  Apple crumble is a traditional Italian dessert, isn't it?

Of course McDonald's is a prominent feature in the landscape anywhere you go anymore.  As big as McDonald's is it is still considered a "growth company" from an investor's standpoint.  Their growth comes from finding new markets to expand into.  McDonald's was the first fast food restaurant to offer breakfast.  If you remember, they also introduced salads, the ones in what looked like a dome covered clear solo cup that you poured in your dressing, covered with the lid and shook to mix the dressing.  Europeans have their own tastes and McDonald's has adapted to their tastes and lifestyle with the McCafe`!

The McCafe`caters to the breakfast tastes of the typical European with a selection of croissants, pastries and coffees.  I say "coffees" but I've discovered over my many trips to Europe, there is no "coffee" on the other side of the Atlantic.  Europeans have Espresso Machines, not coffee makers.  A "Cafe Americano" is really just espresso with hot water added.  It is really quite bad as far a coffee goes.  What I discovered on this trip was Cappuccino as an acceptable alternative.  Cappuccino is a shot of Espresso in a cup filled about three quarters full with steamed milk.  The steamed milk cuts the Espresso enough to make it drinkable, but no free refills.  In my many trips across the pond I've only seen one drip coffee maker ever, and that was at a B&B on this trip.  The coffee was still horrendous but at least they had the right tool for the job for a change.

All things considered, this was a pretty good trip.  Liam and one of his school friends joined us in Rome for the first week.  The weather was challenging and caused Maureen and I to have to completely re-book our flights because of cancellations due to snow in Dublin and winds in New Jersey/New York.  The boys flew through Germany so even though it snowed there as well the two of them got to Rome as scheduled.  The rescheduled flights caused Maureen and I to spend an unscheduled day in New York which turned out to be a very nice day together in the Big Apple!  It rained quite a bit in Italy although we had a beautiful sunny day to tour the Colosseum and Forum.  We even got measurable snow in Dublin which turned into a slippery slush before the day was out.  But as I said many times on this trip; "Anyone can travel when the weather is good!"  

I learned a new acronym that became relevant on this trip.  When traveling Italy you eventually get to the ABCs stage;  "Anything But Cathedrals!"  In Ireland it can be interpreted as "Anything But Castles."  There are so many beautiful works of art, frescoes, sculptures, tile-work, etc... in the churches, basilicas, and cathedrals in Rome, Florence, Venice and all of Italy really, that I could drone on and on for pages.  It's all information that is readily available in the thousands of tour guides in the travel sections of any bookstore you stumble into.  However I did learn a number of interesting tidbits on this trip that might not qualify for the mainstream travel guide.

• Almost all of that fabulous art, mostly found in religious buildings, were the Renaissance Romans way of "keeping up with the Jones's."  Having enough money to commission a piece from Michelangelo or Donatello meant you were one of the city's elite.  Outfitting your home church more elaborately than your neighbor's was a symbol of power and prestige.
• During a certain period paintings and statues were not signed or given any specific mark to indicate who the artist might be.  Signing your work was a mark of pride which was a sin and could get your hand cut off.  The rich could commission fabulous works to show off their wealth (display pride) all they wanted but not the artist.  Of course no one ever suggested the double standards such as what exists with our current ruling class (our politicians) is anything new.
• All of those beautiful white marble statues were originally painted and somewhat gaudy.  That included the marble clad Colosseum and many of the ancient buildings and scuptures that we all envision as classically stark white.
• Many of the statues that we see today are pieced together pieces of different statues from different eras.  Especially during the Renaissance period, as older statues, damaged from being buried or abandoned, were recovered, the Romans would put a Greek era head with shoulders from an earlier Roman period and a pedestal from yet a different time and create a bust for display.  What amazed me was that the archivist were able to identify the different pieces from the various periods.
• Rome is frequently referred to as a "Lasagna" from an archaeological perspective.  Just one example; Maureen and I were walking on a path/road that had been excavated to roughly 500 AD.  At about my eye level embedded in the bank next to me were pavers for the road constructed around the eleventh century.  And well above my head was the entry to the temple that would have been at ground level during the fifteenth or sixteenth century.  Just think about that for a minute.  Over the centuries when parts of Rome were not occupied, enough dirt, debris, ash, etc... had accumulated to raise the surrounding area sometimes ten or twelve feet or more.
• For centuries, all of Michelangelo's paintings were evaluated on the assumption that he chose to paint in darker shades.  Books have been written and thesis have argued and rationalized about why he chose to paint in such dark, moody colors.  Turns out Michelangelo was not dark or moody at all.  Modern painting restoration is revealing bright vibrant colors under layers and layers of dirt, candle soot, and varnish repeatedly applied to protect the original painting.  Hundreds of art historians are turning over in their graves because not only did they miss the mark, they were not even aiming in the right direction.
• And last but not least:  When we think of the traditional "Gladiator" we all think of Russel Crow, right?  It turns out that the typical third century Roman gladiator was a short burly dark character, more Danny Devito than Russel Crowe.  Kind of ruins the image for you doesn't it?      

Despite the weather Ireland was fabulous as usual.  My mom and youngest sister joined us in Dublin for a week in Ireland.  It was fun being able to show them around.  After a couple days in Dublin we headed out into the countryside south and west.  Maureen kept plotting out the "scenic routes".  I've driven in Ireland enough times that driving on the left is no problem.  But the roads are so narrow as a rule that all I see when I'm driving is the pavement and on-coming traffic.  There is not enough room for error to be able look away at the scenery.    

As vacation destinations go, any illusion that Ireland is a "Undiscovered Gem" has long past.  Ancient ruins, tower houses and castles where I've had to park on the side of the road, walk across an open or walled field, and was able to roam freely through in past trips have for the most part been converted into legitimate tourist attractions with parking lots and entry fees.  Even this early in the year we had to dodge tour buses and rush to jump ahead of tour groups so as not to get in a long queue behind them.

After having traveled for a couple of weeks I started to look a little shaggy.  I keep my hair pretty short and usually go for a hair cut every other week or so whether I think I need it or not.  But the thought of trying to get a hair cut in Italy where I didn't speak the language and my concern about how my instructions might be misinterpreted reminded me of the Ray Stevens classic; "The Haircut Song!"  (If you've never heard it click the link for the song.)  So I waited until I got to Ireland to get that trim.  At least in Ireland I can almost speak and understand the language.

My one disappointment.  I finally made the trip up to Cong in Co. Mayo where the John Wayne classic "The Quite Man" was filmed.  I've always wanted to sit down and have a Guinness in the pub prominently featured in the film.  Alas, that pub was closed for the winter season and would not open until April.

I guess that dream will have to wait for the next trip.

We all took a gazillion pictures in Italy and Ireland which I suspect will show up in an album on our Facebook pages soon if anyone is interested.

While we were gone Buddy was being pampered by a nice retired couple from Canada.  We met them through a Trusted House/Pet Sitters website.  They had the opportunity to winter away from Canada, Buddy got to stay home, and we didn't have to worry about Buddy in a strange kennel for a month (or the expense) while we were gone.  Apparently they got along great.  Buddy barked at me quite a bit when we got home.  I couldn't tell if he just didn't recognize or remember me or if he thought that after we left he had traded up.  

This is the hand drawn card left by the sitters on their way out thanking us for the opportunity to sit with Buddy.  You can't tell me Buddy wasn't spoiled.  And I think the sitters even cut our grass before we got home as well.

We are finally home and happy to be back sleeping in our own bed and not living out of a backpack.  I'm sure it won't be long before Maureen begins planning our next big adventure but for now I'm content to plant myself here at home for the foreseeable future.

We hope everyone is doing well!  Until next time...

Rick

PS  This was posted on a friends Facebook page just before I published so I'm including it for fun:  David Allen - Irish Customs